Therapy for Codependency
Do you feel like your sense of self depends on how well you meet others' needs? Or maybe you find yourself prioritizing everyone else’s happiness while ignoring your own? If so, you might be experiencing codependency.
Codependency is a pattern of behavior where your self-worth becomes tied to your ability to care for, please, or control others. While it often develops in response to trauma or unhealthy dynamics in childhood, it can affect people in all kinds of relationships—romantic, family, friendships, or even work.
What is Codependency?
Codependency is more than just being "too caring" or "overly involved." It’s a pattern of prioritizing others' needs at the expense of your own emotional well-being. You might:
Constantly worry about others’ feelings or approval.
Feel responsible for fixing others’ problems.
Struggle to identify or express your own needs.
Have difficulty setting boundaries or saying "no."
While caring for others is natural, codependency often leads to unhealthy, one-sided relationships that leave you feeling drained and disconnected from yourself.
Common Experiences of Codependency
Do any of these sound familiar?
People-pleasing: You feel guilty or anxious when you say "no."
Over-functioning: Taking on more responsibility than is yours to carry.
Emotional reliance: Feeling like your happiness depends on others’ approval.
Poor boundaries: You have trouble distinguishing where you end and others begin.
Low self-esteem: You base your worth on how much you can help or please others.
Codependency can feel like being stuck in a loop of over-giving, but it’s possible to step out of this cycle.
What causes Codependency?
Codependency often develops as a coping mechanism in response to:
Childhood experiences: Growing up with a caregiver who was overly dependent, emotionally unavailable, or abusive.
Dysfunctional family dynamics: Feeling like you had to "earn" love or maintain peace at home by meeting others’ needs.
Trauma: Adapting to environments where neglect, chaos, or abuse was present.
Cultural or societal messages: Reinforcement of self-sacrificial roles, especially for women and marginalized groups.
These experiences can teach you that your value comes from taking care of others, leaving little room to care for yourself.
How Codependency Affects Relationships
Codependency often shows up most vividly in relationships. You might:
Feel overly responsible for your partner’s emotions or actions.
Have difficulty trusting others or allowing vulnerability.
Fear abandonment or rejection, leading to over-accommodation.
Become resentful or burnt out due to unequal dynamics.
While these patterns may feel familiar or even "normal," they can prevent the mutual respect and balance that healthy relationships need to thrive.
Healing from Codependency
Healing from codependency involves learning to reconnect with yourself and establish healthy boundaries. Here’s what that process can look like:
Self-awareness: Identifying codependent patterns and understanding how they developed.
Boundary-setting: Learning to say "no" and prioritize your needs without guilt.
Building self-esteem: Shifting your sense of worth away from others’ validation.
Developing emotional regulation: Understanding and managing your own emotions without relying on others to "fix" them.
Therapy: Trauma-informed approaches like EMDR, parts work, or somatic therapy can help you heal the root causes of codependency and reclaim your sense of self.
FAQs about Codependency
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Yes, with self-awareness, boundaries, and therapy, you can overcome codependency and build healthier relationships. Healing involves unlearning old patterns and learning new ways to care for yourself and connect with others.
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No, healthy care involves mutual support and boundaries, while codependency often means prioritizing others’ needs at your expense.
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If you notice patterns of people-pleasing, low self-esteem, or difficulty setting boundaries, you might be experiencing codependency. A therapist can help clarify this and guide you toward healing. Take the quiz below to find out more.
Is it Love or Codependency?
Many people mistake codependency for unconditional love, believing that self-sacrifice is a sign of devotion. But love that requires you to abandon yourself isn’t love—it’s survival conditioning.
Are you loving from a place of wholeness or self-abandonment? Take this quick quiz to uncover your relational patterns and find out whether your love is truly unconditional—or if it’s costing you your sense of self.
Start your Codependency recovery journey today.
Codependency doesn’t have to define your relationships or your life. At Root Psychotherapy, we specialize in helping people heal from codependent patterns, rediscover their sense of self, and build healthier, more balanced connections. Schedule a consultation today and take the first step toward freedom and self-empowerment.